past vs. present

"...As soon as exceptional begins to mean anything to anyone they'll change it. The idea seems to be: use an expression only as long as it doesn't mean anything to anybody. Exceptional refers to both ends of the spectrum, so all my life I've been exceptional.

Strange about learning; the farther I go the more I see that I never knew even existed. A short while ago I foolishly thought I could learn everything--all the knowledge in the world. Now I hope only to be able to know of its existence, and to understand one grain of it.

Is there time?

Burt is annoyed with me. He finds me impatient and the others must feel the same. But they hold me back and try to keep me in my place. What is my place? Who and what am I now? Am I the sum of my life or only of the past few months?"

this passage felt important to me because it was the big point where charlie starts trying to figure out who he really is. by this point he's gotten to a scary genius level and it's beginning to slowly deteriorate again. with this he's more frustrated than ever with trying to learn everything, and the realization of his whole self-picture is sort of a turning point in the story.

the questions he's asking are good ones. i think he really is just the sum of the past few months, where he's started getting smarter. this can be supported because he starts talking about a charlie outside of himself. the charlie that's watching everything he does, scared and waiting. this other charlie is his past; his dim-witted, oblivious alter ego, and the closer and closer charlie grew to be a super-genius, the more and more set apart the other charlie became.